
Divorce is one of life’s toughest transitions not just for the couple but for the kids too. The end of a marriage can be confusing, sad and scary for little minds so parents need to provide helpful support.
Bridget Riley, a divorce coach in Point Pleasant, NJ offers customized guidance for families working through this issue. Here are Bridget Riley’s tips and strategies to help kids cope with divorce.
Don’t Isolate: Be Open
Kids feel isolated during a divorce especially if they feel their parents are preoccupied. Bridget says to keep the door open with your kids. Instead of asking them how they feel about the divorce, ask them about school, friends or their favorite hobbies. This keeps the conversation light and reassuring and creates a safe space for kids to be themselves.
Being open doesn’t mean asking too many questions. Parents should listen and respond thoughtfully. By showing interest in their lives beyond the divorce you remind them they are more than their circumstances. Research from the American Academy of Pediatrics shows kids benefit from honest but age appropriate communication during a divorce. Tell them they are loved and not to blame for the changes happening around them.
If your child asks tough questions like “Why is this happening?” or “When will things get better?” answer honestly but simply. Don’t blame the other parent or go into unnecessary details. For example if they ask “Why is this happening?” you could say “Sometimes adults make decisions that are hard for everyone but we both love you very much and always will.”
Be Present: Stability in the Chaos
Divorce can disrupt routines and leave kids feeling unanchored. Bridget says to be consistently present in your child’s life by prioritizing family time and keeping schedules predictable. Planning fun activities and just being there for your child can be comforting and normalizing.
Small moments can be the most comforting. Sit down for meals together, help with homework or schedule a weekly movie night. These routines create an anchor for your child so they have something to hold onto when other parts of their world are uncertain. If possible collaborate with the other parent to keep similar routines across households. Consistency in bedtimes, schoolwork and extracurricular activities helps to create a sense of security.
Being present also means being attuned to your child’s emotional needs. Pay attention to the subtle signs they may need extra support like changes in behavior, sleep patterns or appetite. These can be signs of underlying stress or anxiety.

Take Care of Yourself: A Strong Parent Creates Stability
Kids are perceptive and can sense when their parents are struggling. While it’s natural to feel emotional during a divorce Bridget says to release your emotions privately. “Cry far away from your kids” she says. “If they see you as weak and sad all the time they may try to fix the situation by being so good. When their efforts fail they may lash out and create anger.”
Parents should take care of themselves whether through therapy, support groups or exercise. Taking care of your own mental and physical health is good for you but essential for your kids. By modeling resilience you help your kids feel safe and confident in their ability to navigate this tough time.
In addition to emotional self care don’t neglect practical self care. Make sure you’re eating well, getting enough sleep and keeping a healthy routine. These small things can make a big difference in how you show up for your kids.
Parent with Love: Meet Them Where They Are
Bridget reminds parents that kids may exhibit behaviors like regression, idolizing the other parent or becoming clingy. These are normal coping mechanisms. For example an older child might start acting like a toddler and want comfort items like blankets or stuffed animals. These behaviors can be tough but approach them with patience and understanding.
Instead of focusing on these changes meet your child with love and reassurance. Validate their feelings by saying things like “It’s okay to feel sad or scared. I’m here for you no matter what”. By normalizing their emotions you help them process their feelings in a healthy way.
“Some wounds take longer to heal” says Bridget. “But your kids are the best part of you. Show them your best, especially during this time”. Remember love and patience are your greatest tools to help your child through this transition.
Don’t Speak Negatively About the Other Parent
One of the most important pieces of advice Bridget shares is to never speak negatively about the other parent in front of your kids. Hearing this can create guilt and fear in your child and make the situation even tougher for them. Instead keep a neutral tone when talking about the other parent.
The American Psychological Association says parental conflict is one of the top contributors to emotional distress in kids during a divorce. By keeping conversations neutral and respectful you create a healthier environment for them. If you’re feeling angry or resentful consider seeking professional help to process those feelings in a healthy way.
Encourage Expression Without Forcing It
Kids cope in their own way. Some will want to talk about their feelings, others will draw, journal or play to process their emotions. Give them the freedom to express themselves in ways that feel natural. “Don’t make them do anything except be kids” says Bridget. “They need to feel relaxed and not isolated.”
You might introduce activities that encourage emotional expression like art projects or story time as a way to open the door to conversation. If your child doesn’t want to talk that’s okay. Just being present and available can make all the difference.

Trust Your Instincts: You Know Your Child Best
Every child reacts differently to divorce and as a parent you are the expert on what your child needs. Bridget advises parents to trust their instincts and seek professional help when needed. If your child’s behavior changes significantly or they seem overwhelmed with anxiety or sadness don’t hesitate to see a therapist who specializes in working with kids of divorce.
“Pain doesn’t last forever” says Bridget. “But patience and love are the keys to getting your child through this”. Remember the goal isn’t to eliminate your child’s pain it’s to help them navigate it with resilience and support.
Resources and Support with Bridget Riley
Divorce is tough but you don’t have to do it alone. Bridget Riley offers divorce coaching services to help parents and kids thrive during this time of change. For one on one support in Point Pleasant, NJ or virtual sessions from anywhere, get the expertise and empathy you need to support your family.
You’ll get strategies specific to your family’s situation so your kids feel safe, loved and resilient as they adjust to their new reality. Tools for co-parenting, routines and emotional balance will also be provided.
Ready to get started? Book with Bridget Riley today.